Flight Risks

Not so innocent

Sweet aren’t they? Dozing off in the slanted sunlight of Sunday afternoon, Frito and Inky would seem to be the picture of well-behaved little poochies. But don’t be fooled, they’re intent on escaping the Rancho! As tiny pups they found ways to get out, so we went to great pains to secure along the fence … and it worked for a while. Then Inky went missing for a few days and we thought we’d lost her, only to have her returned by a vacationing good Samaritan. But, a few months ago they found another way out; during our frantic hunt, they came galloping happily up from Evergreen Cemetery. How they got out, we don’t know to this day … Last week Paul came home during the day and wasn’t able to find them again. So, as in the past, a crazed search ensued, with name shouting and asking strangers if they’d seen them … only to learn they’d been found and taken in at a nearby mental health facility. This time we found their escape hatch and fixed it … They went missing again today … followed by the same routine: searching, shouting, strangers. All of which ended when both pooches were brought home in an animal control paddy wagon. They had been haunting the cemetery again, barking at visitors there. Animal control authorities located their home via their ID chips; they warned about fines that would be levied against us if they went running loose again ($500 — each!). Needless to say we have to revisit our tactics and come up with truly secure security measures. But, why, with all the space they have to roam around in here, do they want to get out? … They seem so happy when we’re all together watching ‘The Real Housewives of Atlanta’ …

Like the parents of incorrigible children, we can’t figure out why, after giving them everything they could need and use, they would want to leave us? Oh, sure, we chastise them when they bring trash into the house and present it to us like it’s fine jewels … and, we do admonish them not to be so licky and jumpy, and — NO! — they should not dive through their doggie door with our socks, or chew on prized succulents … But, on the other hand we’ve also taken them for shots, had them ID chip-implanted, given them the finest food, bought them innumerable chew toys, even color-complementary harnesses and leashes … It’s hard to know what goes on their little doggy brains; they’re so instinct-driven and subject to their natural urges … Maybe there’re smells out there they just really can’t resist? … Maybe we’ve offered them so much unconditional love, they now have overinflated self-esteems that are forcing them to expand their territory to include the historic Evergreen Cemetery, maybe all of Riverside? Whatever it is we have to do something, and quick! Exorbitant fine amount aside, there’s a lot to fear out there for such little poochies: cars, coyotes, pitbulls, kidnappers, to name the biggies … So — are Frito and Inky rampant runners and emotional terrorists, just itching to get out and upset us again by putting themselves at risk? Intellectually, I know they aren’t. But it can sure feel that way when we’re out there calling out their names, wondering if they’re okay and if we’ll ever see them again …

Plotting?!